Passion.

Today's post is going to relate to the title above. Passion. This seven-lettered word carries seventy times seventy times seven dasdabdhasjh of power. I thought I've got it. I thought I could work on it. I thought I would find it as I go deeper in doing what I'm currently doing. I thought passion could be created. I thought it could use some force. I thought I was right, while in fact:

I'm not quite passionate about anything I'm doing.

"Love what you do, and do what you love". Now that, for me, is so cliché. Things that I do, I tend to do it because I have to; or else I won't get a career. I do it because this is what I'd imagined myself would normally do when I grow up. You know, get a degree, hopefully proceed to PhD and get a good lifetime career... until I realized this is not where my soul is.

A couple of days ago I was surfing on the Internet, searching for good worship songs & watched a bunch of videos. (What's funny is that now I can't find the link of that video to share with you guys but here's an idea of what happened) The guy, who' being interviewed, says "I love my job. I wake up every morning doing my job, not even realizing this is a job. I love producing music and just playing with my guitar all day to the point where I don't think I'm working; I'm just doing what I'm loving. If I could do this forever, I would!"

Now I don't know about you guys, but to be honest that was not the first time for me to hear someone brag about his/ her passion for something. Lucky for these people, though, who have grown up with their God-gifted talents which eventually gave birth to their lifetime passion. I've heard many musicians/ artists/ young entrepreneurs/ you name it, who have discovered their passion since very young age, or even non-purposely found theirs. But that's not the case for me. I grew up being ordinary with a scatter of interests here and there but nothing specific really. And for people like me, we have to go on that extra mile digging ourselves with hopes to find some gold/ hidden treasure God has put in us. Or even better, ask the Giver himself! Straight up to the source ;)

Back to the guitarist's statement about his enthusiasm. Despite of the many times I've heard these kinds of answers, this time it was different. I instantly sank in those words and started asking myself what about me? I have pondered on his statement for quite a lot now, even to the point where I suddenly become so clueless and afraid, in a sense, of the future and where is this life driving me to. Now Hillsong's "Here I am, down on my knees again... surrendering all... surrendering all..." clicks perfectly in my situation right now.

I know that above all these dilemmas in life, the unanswered questions and prayers, confusions and, often times, doubts, are far less important than the Holder of my future Himself. I know that I want Him more than these answers... Because He says, "be still and know that I am God".

Now can we say Amen? Our God is an awesome God.